In case you ever feel like grabbing your ex-boss’s ass if ever the occasion presents itself, if your target should be from humanity’s better half, then you should know you would not be sexually harassing her. But, if your ass-grabbing target is not from humanity’s better half, you still would be not committing a harassing offense in the strict, legal meaning of the word. If you are asking yourself how so, and you certainly should, I have not one but two explanations for you. The second explanation being shorter and easier to grok, let’s start there, and then move on to the first.
Second. If you are not a man but your ex-boss is, then go ahead and grab as much ass as you like or as made available to grabbing. That is because, on the one hand, men would hardly make a big stink about having their ass grabbed by someone from humanity’s better half who they might be even half-attracted to. But they also do not make a big stink if ass-grabbed by a man they might not know and be not attracted to; but this is on the condition that no lascivious intention is detected, the grabbing is done in jest, no wrong sexual identity or preference is insinuated or attributed to him, and if your apology to him gets in faster than his fist to your face. And that is whether there are witnesses.
First. Whatever you are, a born or a doctored man or woman, if your target is a man, you can grab your ex-boss’s ass without it being “sexual harassment.” That is because despite the gender-neutral language of the law, everybody knows or by now should know that the SHL (Sexual Harassment Law) was conceived of and written out resentment by men-hating feminists, its ultimate end being to exact revenge on men for succeeding more often where women oftener fail: building businesses, creating values, getting promoted, and making lots of money. In short, through that law, feminism exploits men’s weakest point─ sex, to keep them in psychological and monetary check, and so get the upper hand in the workplace. But the main reason that grabbing your ex-boss’s ass would not constitute harassment, sexually or any kind, is because on the one hand, when she was your boss, you were never able to affect her employment in either a negative positive way. And you certainly are not more able now that she’s not your superior anymore, or even your coworker. But even when she was your boss, it was her not you who was able to affect the terms of your employment. So, if according to the SHL, having the upper hand in the workplace is one of the two necessary conditions to be potentially accused of harassing your female employees, you would be cleared of the charge if it is even ever brought. As to the second basic condition the SHL establishes for you being potentially accused of harassment, that is, discriminating based on sex-difference— it is highly debatable as to whether the SHL would apply to you for your grabbing your ex-boss’s ass. It is more likely than not that it wouldn’t. And this for the same reason as above. You just need to remember that she’s no longer your boss and you are her underling no longer.
On the other hand, if you just grab her ass once, your potential accusers would only be revealing their poor knowledge of the language. According to The New American Heritage Oxford Dictionary and The Online Free Dictionary, by Farlex (look it up for yourself), “harassing” does not describe grabbing somebody’s ass once or twice in their lifetime. Simply put, the notions of persistence and/or repetition or continuity that are comprehended in the etymology of “To harass” are not expressed in the action. Even though it is true that the SHL and the feminist The New York Time use the world idiosyncratically, or better say, biasedly, you would be fine in the end.
So, while the SHL does not apply to Chris Cuomo’s grabbing his ex-boss’s ass, for her part Shelly Ross is making the right call in not calling for Mr. Cuomo to be fired. Fire him, and CNN will have a heavy lawsuit landing on its head. But not calling for her former underling to be fired does not mean Shelly Ross is not seeking to exact a huge revenge on Christ, and through him, on men in general, especially if they are white, hold positions of power, or are of the kinds who might feel like grabbing any grabbable ass from members of humanity’s better half, if given the chance. The call for Cuomo to apologize, which according to himself he already did fifteen years ago when the incident took place, makes that more than clear. The very fact that Ross decided to resuscitate this dead body after so many years already announces that she’s out for revenge big time, something easier to do now that the other Cuomo is out and down and done with. But she has a passive-aggressive way of exacting her revenge. For, she wants Chris Cuomo to publicly endorse a law that he has not violated; and while at it, she wants him to come in defense of a law that only a dunce would not see is a feminist double-edged sword against his own sex, gender, and sexuality. And she wants him to do that, not for her own sake, she claims, but allegedly on behalf of all the members of humanity’s better half who have never been Chris Cuomo’s boss and who he might not have been waiting so such long time to grab their asses, as Ross claims he blurted out to her.
In other words, she’s making into something political what is strictly personal. How typically feminist. For it must be said that unless we are being deliberately hypocritical, no member of humanity’s better half today can claim with a straight face not to know what she dresses like to make men want to grab. I mean, there must have been something visible to everybody around the office when Shelly Ross was his boss for Christ Cuomo to have gotten that stupid idea, and for him to hold to it for so long.
Not that I am advocating for men be going around grabbing the asses of humanity’s better half. From keen, methodic observation of life and personal experience, I know it takes as much courageous stupidity to grab an ass as much as it takes masochist suffering not to grab it, if given the chance. If microeconomic calculations should apply to the equation thereof, maybe fifteen years waiting to grab an ass for less than two or three seconds should be found to be commendable, and what is shocking about this kind of incidents is how seldom they happen. Just look around you; you will soon see assets to boot behaving like they trying to invite you to do something. However, men get no acknowledgement for not accepting the invite as often as they could─ not that they should.
Now, that Chris Cuomo grabbing her ex-boss’s ass does not amount to sexual harassment does not mean you should do it. For, while it does not constitute sexual harassment and the feminist SHL can’t go after you, other city and states anti-men laws can be used to nail your very own ass to the cross. Sexual abuse or sexual assault laws, which ironically, in New York were made more stringent and more anti-men under the other Cuomo when he was Governor, can grab you by your unicorn— your dick, and squeeze it really hard. Time was when a member from humanity’s better half out there strutting her stuff would have appreciated it if you had in you enough courageous stupidity to find that irresistible—-and give in to it. That’s not anymore.
Presently, humanity’s better half first gets to enjoy flaunting it, and then also gets to enjoy throwing the laws after you to crush your dick. That is having it both ways. This means humanity’s better half has already become the power lording it over men.
My advice to Chris Cuomo, though, or to however it may concern, is to grab no ass at all, above all not when a husband could be watching. But if you cannot help it and must go for it——no witnesses.